this is just the begining of the ending

i admit it is hard to move on. i could only bring myself to take very small step ahead. my heart is frozen. the gate to my love life is temporarily close. i have no intention to be with someone else at this very moment. i don't want start and don't even want to create another sweet memories. my life is under-construction for now.
however, i know its no fair that i am still hang on with the guy. while, the man has understand his part to be general with each other.
i admit our conversation just now is hard, pain and long. though, its worth to bring it up again to at least we could updated with what we are trying to fix all this time.
its true we cant fix a broken glass that the pieces is all over the place. forgive and forget. its like a round shape trying to fit a square shape together. even if we can't be together, i'm here and we will always be friends.
i always imagine that i could be happy with myself being solo, have a great career&life, beautiful in and outside and surrounded by my beloved family and loyal friends.
though i wonder when can this be happening when i am always stubborn and keep on making mistakes and create problem. i don't want my life to be strict-ed by a man and a guy guard side by side me. i still want my freedom but in a Christian way and also i still want to be loved. i have very few loyal friends or should i realize it by now that i don't even have any. pity me.

my next major plan.. well, end of this month, we are going to start with the business plan already. gosh, i haven't even start yet for the proposal. i need a black and white to prove this business is a serious matter. wish us all the best.

not afraid to be stand alone..

im here sitting as time passes me by with an opportunity tht i should take before its to late to regret. i would like to rest from being committed with any heavy responsibility except my job. i have many things to complaint about other than my broken relationship. however, i do some how wanted to be with someone who i truly love and wanna spend my entire life with. imagining my path with beautiful children that i wanna make them grow up to be a good christian, comfortable and affordable financial status, having a good relationship with my faithful husband, family members and a blessed career ahead of me. 

though, i think i need to put on hold with that negotiation deal until further notice in my life. i wanna prove that i can be with my self entirely solo with a focus goal to open my own business. currently, i need to have a good proposal and a great backup plan rite now. i hope and would like to be friends with a business owner, so i could gain useful tips around to open a long term business of my sibling's own. i even thinking of updating my self with latest IT information. if its possible, i wanna do a home based business in developing website to potential clients. i surely wanted to do something somehow. GOD BLESS ME, please..

now, all i know is i wanted to declare that i am not afraid to be alone. i really wanna start something useful for me and my family. with a plus edition that i wanted to remain single until i could place something ahead of me.